What do I want? One of the hardest questions to answer.

Welcome to your Confidence Catalyst Newsletter – helping you speak up, step up, and stand out.

This edition I want to talk about one of the hardest questions we face in our careers and lives:

What do you really want?

It sounds simple—but answering it can feel anything but. Why? Because we’re often trying to answer it from our head. And while our head is brilliant at logic and planning, it’s also built for safety. A third of our brain’s energy is spent on keeping us away from danger—so if something feels risky, uncertain, or outside our current identity, the answer gets clouded with doubts or avoidance.

Instead of dreaming big, we default to familiar, sensible, predictable responses.

But if we’re not in touch with what we truly want, we can’t align our actions with our ambitions. We stay in autopilot—busy, capable, reliable… and potentially unfulfilled.

Let’s break this down through our usual three lenses:

Mindset

From Reaction to Creation When we’re stuck in reaction mode—responding to other people’s expectations, inboxes, or priorities—we lose connection to our own desires. This week, I invite you to tune out the noise and ask:

What would I love to create in my life, career, health, or relationships?

Let your future pull you forward, instead of letting the present drag you along.

Behaviour

Start Getting Clear (Even If You’re Not Sure Yet)

1. Drop into your body. Take a breath, get still, and ask: What does my heart want? What does my gut say? When you add this wisdom to what your head tells you, you’ll find a more balanced truth.
2. Try the reverse approach. If you’re stuck, start with what you don’t want. That’s often easier.

“I don’t want to be stuck in this role forever.” “I don’t want to feel drained every week.” “I don’t want to keep doubting myself.” From there, flip it: What do you want instead?

1. Use the tools at your fingertips. My book includes exercises to help you figure out what you want and then create a growth plan to help you get there. 👉 Buy my book here

Compassion

Wherever You Are—Start There You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need to judge past decisions or rush into future ones. Just be here, now.

🌟 Look for what’s already good. 🌟 Be kind to yourself for anything that hasn’t gone to plan. 🌟 Be present and in the moment- and give yourself permission to dream again.

So… What do you really want? I’d love to hear. What’s your heart whispering today? What’s your gut telling you? I would love to know! If you would like this newsletter sent straight to your inbox, click here

Best wishes

Kirsteen

Need support getting clear on what’s next? Book a one-off Confidence Catalyst session—designed to help you tune in, make a plan, and move forward with intention. 🎯 £175 for 60 minutes – Book yours here