Early in my leadership career, I remember sitting in a performance review when my manager described me as “stalwart.”

I’ll be honest, I had no idea what that meant.

All I heard was “wart” and immediately thought, “Well, that can’t be good.”

So I looked it up afterwards.

Stalwart: loyal, dependable, reliable.

At the time, I took it as a compliment.

Looking back now, I realise it was also a warning.

Not because being reliable is a bad thing. Far from it. Every organisation needs people who are dependable, who deliver and who can be trusted.

The problem is when that’s all people see.

The lesson I didn’t realise I was learning

At the time, my manager didn’t have the strongest reputation.

His relationship with his own boss was poor, there were regular people issues within the team, and I often found myself stepping in to smooth things over, rebuild relationships and keep everything moving.

I became the safe pair of hands.

The person everyone relied on.

The person who always sorted things out.

What I didn’t realise was that I had become completely focused on managing up, but only to one person.

I thought my job was to keep my manager happy.

I wasn’t thinking beyond him.

I wasn’t building relationships with his manager. I wasn’t increasing my visibility with senior stakeholders. I wasn’t helping people outside my immediate team understand what I was capable of.

Without realising it, I had limited my own opportunities.

The biggest career lesson I wish I’d learned sooner

Irrespective of how senior you are, your relationships are everything.

Whether you’re an aspiring manager, a Director or a Managing Director, careers don’t grow through performance alone.

They grow through trust.

Through credibility.

Through visibility.

Through the relationships you’ve built across the organisation and beyond.

Your relationship with your manager matters.

Your relationship with their manager matters too.

So do your relationships with peers, stakeholders, sponsors and the people who influence decisions when you’re not in the room.

Because if your manager has limited influence or political capital, your career can unintentionally become limited by the opportunities they can create for you.

People don’t just see your work.

Sometimes they see you through the lens of the people you’re most closely associated with.

Why “reliable” should make you pause

This is why one word in a performance review always catches my attention.

Reliable.

Or dependable.

Or consistent.

Or “always delivers.”

These are wonderful qualities.

But they’re also the words I hear most often from women who feel stuck.

Women who work incredibly hard.

Who solve everyone else’s problems.

Who carry more than their fair share.

And then wonder why someone else gets promoted.

It goes wrong because

You’ve become so good at your current role that people can’t picture you doing anything else.

You’re indispensable where you are.

Not because you lack potential.

But because nobody has been given a reason to imagine you in your next role.

Hard work is only part of the equation

One of the biggest myths in corporate life is that exceptional performance naturally leads to progression.

It doesn’t.

Performance gets you credibility.

Relationships create opportunities.

Visibility creates advocates.

Strategic conversations create momentum.

The women I see progressing into senior leadership aren’t working less hard.

They’re making sure the right people understand what they’re capable of next.

They’re building relationships long before they need them.

They’re known for more than execution.

They’re recognised for leadership.

A question worth asking yourself

If your manager wasn’t in the room when promotion decisions were being made…

Who else would speak positively about you?

Who understands your strengths?

Who has seen your leadership?

Who would advocate for your next move?

If those questions make you uncomfortable, that’s not something to worry about.

It’s something to work on.

Because careers are rarely built by one relationship.

They’re built by a network of trusted relationships developed over time.

Your next step

If this newsletter has resonated with you, I’d encourage you not to wait until your next performance review to start changing the story.

I created my Career Jumpstart Kit to help ambitious women become more intentional about their careers and stop relying on hard work alone to get noticed.

Inside, you’ll find practical tools to help you:

• Increase your visibility with the people who matter.
• Build a stronger professional profile.
• Position yourself for future opportunities.
• Take control of your career rather than waiting to be recognised.

Because your career deserves more than hoping someone notices your potential.

It deserves a strategy.

You can download your free Career Jumpstart Kit here

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever been described as “reliable”, “dependable” or “the safe pair of hands”? Looking back, did it help your career, or did it keep you exactly where you were?

Have a great week

Kirsteen