I wish I had learned this sooner!
I have been a leader for the last 30 years. I always thought I was born a leader.
The thing I have learned in the last few years is that I have always led others and focused on being the best leader I can be for them, yet my ability to lead myself has only been a recent focus.
There is lots of noise about self-leadership, but what does it really mean and why should we care about it?
We all know that as women, we have more power and influence in the world today than we have ever had.
Yet for some reason, we are often also more disconnected to ourselves.
Because of our opportunities, we find ourselves wanting more and knowing that it could be possible, yet when we meet challenges or difficulties, we subconsciously meet them with a fixed mindset.
We can get caught in a loop, of how it is because of something to do with who we are that things have not worked out.
We make it mean something about ourselves.
Studies show that women and girls are far more likely to make shame-based meaning about themselves in the face of challenges or setbacks, than boys and men are.
I have certainly done this, and I continue to catch myself doing it!
When I didn’t get the job I wanted, I made it mean that I wasn’t good enough to do the job, eventually I woke up to the fact that I just needed to take a different approach to the assessment.
Imagine the difference in how I felt from a fixed mindset of “ I am not good enough” to a growth mindset of “ how can I take a different approach that is going to help me assess better?”
Now I see setbacks as an opportunity for me to learn and grow, just like I did through improving my assessment process.
Having a growth mindset, is one of the most important elements of self-leadership.
If you are feeling challenged right now, you might like to try this approach and see what opens up for you with these little shifts in your thinking:
- Shift into curiosity
- Suspend judgement about what this might mean about yourself and others
- Commit to finding a way
- Channel your most creative and resourceful self
1. Shift into curiosity
When you get curious, you are able to expand the possibilities in the area of your challenge. From a place of curiosity, you can generate ideas and grow. Ask yourself “I wonder how I might approach this challenge in a new and creative way?”
Ask yourself “I wonder how I might approach this challenge in a new and creative way?”
2. Suspend judgement about what this might mean about yourself and others
We are very quick to judge. Judgement keeps us stuck in that unhelpful loop. Things don’t always work out the way we think they will. Instead of making a judgement about yourself, be open to the idea that you can utilise and learn from your current position.
be open to the idea that you can utilise and learn from your current position
3. Commit to finding a way
You are a powerful and resourceful individual. Look at all the things you have created to this point. You have a brilliant track record in figuring things out. Commit to doing the same in this instance.
4. Channel your most creative and resourceful self
How does she approach these situations? Who could she ask for support? What is her inner strength she can always depend on in these types of circumstances?
I invite you to journal on these points whenever you are feeling challenged by something. This will really help you identify any fixed mindset thinking and enable you to shift into a growth and generative mindset which will enable you to lead yourself forward in a much more connected and comfortable way.
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